School Districts stuck in the Stone Age with carrier pigeon communications

In a time where instant communication is expected with just the tap of a screen, some school districts are still stuck in the avian ages, relying on carrier pigeons for their internal messages. While technology has advanced leaps and bounds, these districts seem content to keep their feathers unruffled, quite literally.

"These birds have been the backbone of communication for thousands of years," remarked an anonymous school official, apparently unaware that machines called laptops and email exist. "Why fix what isn't broken? Plus, it's a great lesson in history for the kids."

Not everyone is chirping the praises of this antiquated system. Coach Gerald Grumpy said, "It's like being stuck in a time warp. I spend half my day handwriting messages to the admin and waiting for my carrier pigeon to return. My bird has died twice in transit. Twice! Can't we find a modern solution for this? That's two more times than I'd like to deal with."

Local parents are equally unimpressed, with one exasperated mother stating, "I'm tired of dodging flying poop every time I drop my kid off at school. Birds are swarming the city like it's some kind of Alfred Hitchcock nightmare. Can't they just use email like normal people?"

Surprisingly, some principals seem to revel in the nostalgic charm of carrier pigeons. "There's something quaint about receiving messages in this manner," said Principal Polly, as she brushed pigeon feathers off her shoulders. "It takes me back to the good ol' days when communication was simpler. Plus, it's a great excuse to spend more time outdoors."

While the rest of the world embraces technological advancements, these school districts seem determined to keep one foot firmly planted in the past, or perhaps just keep their heads in the clouds. As for the pigeons themselves, they remain blissfully unaware of the weighty responsibility they carry with each flutter of their wings.