Dual Sport high school football coaches stage protest for a lack of a break before spring ball

High school dual sport football coaches across the nation have staged a protest demanding time off before the commencement of spring ball. Their grievances stem from a severe lack of respite, leaving them physically and mentally drained.

"This is an absolute travesty," declared Coach Barry Tiredman, his eyes bloodshot and his voice trembling with exhaustion. "Spring ball is staring us in the face, and we haven't even had a moment to catch our breath since August."

Coach Tiredman, who hasn't seen a full night's sleep since the leaves started to fall, emphasized the dire need for downtime. "I'm running on fumes here. My energy drink consumption has doubled, tripled even! If we don't get a break soon, I fear I'll be dead."

Another coach confessed the strain the relentless schedule has put on his personal life. "My wife is at her breaking point," he lamented. "She's threatened to leave me if I don't start coming home on time. But how can I when there's always another practice, another meeting, another game to prepare for?"

Adding fuel to the fire, Coach Pete Exhaustion revealed the toll the grueling regime had taken on his health. "I've had two strokes and a collapsed lung this year alone," he admitted, his voice hoarse with fatigue. "And yet, here I am, required to show up for spring practice as if nothing happened. It's absurd!"

The protest, which saw coaches brandishing signs that read "Give Us a Timeout" and "We're Not Machines," garnered widespread attention on social media. Parents and players alike voiced their support, recognizing the sacrifices these coaches make day in and day out.

As the debate rages on, one thing remains clear: the demand for a reprieve is not merely a plea for comfort but a cry for the preservation of sanity in the high-stakes world of high school football.