Greg Abbott to offer pay raises in Pesos for coaches

Austin, TX - Texas Governor Greg Abbott has announced a new initiative to reward hardworking high school coaches across the state with pay raises. However, there's a twist - the raises will be given in Mexican pesos instead of good old American dollars. While some see this as an outrageous decision, others are applauding the governor's unconventional approach to bolstering the state's sports programs.

The decision to provide raises in pesos has ignited a fiery debate among educators and sports enthusiasts alike. Proponents argue that it's a clever strategy to incentivize coaches and diversifying their financial portfolios with currency education. Critics, on the other hand, believe it's a nonsensical move that undermines the value of the coaches' hard work.

Representative Johnny Slickhair from the Texas House of Representatives came out in support of the measure, saying, "This move by Governor Abbott is a game-changer. We need to think outside the box when it comes to compensating our coaches. Pesos may be a bold choice, but it opens up opportunities for our coaches to invest internationally and broaden their financial horizons."

While some coaches are eagerly anticipating their pay raises, others are voicing their frustrations. High school football coach, Bill Thompson, who has been dealing with the brunt of inflation and rising living costs, expressed his exasperation. "It's absolutely ridiculous! I'm struggling to make ends meet, and now I have to worry about exchange rates and fluctuating currencies? My players put their trust in me, but now I'm wondering if the governor has my back."

On the other side of the spectrum, high school tennis coach, Sarah Martinez, had a different perspective. She happily stated, "As a tennis coach, I am grateful for any raise that comes my way. I love my job, and being employed and alive is a luxury in itself. Pesos or dollars, I'll gladly accept it because it means I can continue doing what I love."

"I think I'd rather be unemployed" says local basketball coach, Derek Johnson. "Being paid in Pesos is an insult to our profession, and I can go elsewhere for better pay. I guess it's time to leave"

The decision to provide raises in pesos may have raised some concerns, but it certainly got people talking. Time will tell whether this move will be hailed as a stroke of genius or a bizarre experiment. One thing is for sure - Texas high school coaches will have to brace themselves for a new kind of financial adventure as they navigate the exciting world of international currencies.